#it also doesn't help that both songs sound like tragic love songs

[0zeeraa0]

HEAR ME OUT

I will take no criticism.

[silencesscreams]

"is there any chance i can fix this?" where james and reader are best friends since birth but he begins to pull away and spend less time with her in favor of the boys, so she just cuts him out of her life and after a while he doesn't know how to deal with it anymore. hiiiii

sad beautiful tragic

james potter x fem reader (angst)

a/n: sorry about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language (also i’m pretty bad at writing angst but i tried my best) also immediately thought of the title because of the taylor swift song, so hope you don’t mind the association. also the first kiss part came to my mind because of a tiktok i saw a few weeks ago but i don’t really remember who’s it was to credit them

warnings: friendship distancing, kissing, fighting, cursing, a bit short (sorry), happy ending

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please”

you knew james potter and he knew you. knowing meaning comprehending each other, meaning that you stood by each others side for as long as you can remember.

he was your first friend. he was your neighbor and you both grew up together, it was expected that you both would know each other better than anyone.

sure, it felt different when you both started hogwarts and suddenly he had new friends, but so did you. you spent the time you could together, always saving a bit of your days for each other.

during the sixth to seventh year summer vacation, he had spent the whole summer with you, you both would hang out all the time.

until he kissed you.

it was the last day of summer and you both had spent the evening in his room. you were talking about a book you had been reading recently and he listened quietly, like it was the most interesting thing he had ever heard of. until you paused for a brief moment and he moved closer to you. you were sat on the floor with him, the carpet tickling your legs as you played with the fluffy yarn under you.

“honey” he said, you looked at him, doe eyed waiting for him to continue. “a phrase. two words, six letters, two vowels. guess.” he said lowly whilst looking at your lips. your mind went blank.

one vowel for each word. you still didn’t get it.

“what are the vowels?” you whisper back, he smiles.

“i and e” he answers, not taking his eyes from off of you for a second. you knew.

“kiss me?” and so he did. his lips met yours abruptly, his hands grabbed your hips and yours went straight to the back of his neck. it completely changed the way you ever saw him, hell, it completely changed your expectations to a kiss. it was better than anything you’d ever experienced and you loved it.

when you got back to school, it seemed like he didn’t do that, actually, it seemed like he didn’t even talk to you the whole summer.

sure, he did casually say hello in the halls and you might’ve shared one or two conversations, but what the hell? he kisses you like that and expects you to just forget about it? that was the most fucked up thing anyone could’ve done. as the semester went on, your mind was absolutely torturing you over that kiss.

it made you overthink every single thing you ever did around him. but maybe he didn't have time, maybe he was really busy with his studies and quidditch, right? that was probably it.

he saw you every once in a while, said an awkward hi or whatever that thing signaling head thing he did was.

the crush you had developed for him didn’t help at all. it made you crave his presence in your life, even now that you hated him more than you ever thought you possibly could. you missed his pet names for you, ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ sounded so amazing coming out of his mouth.

but from the moment he started to ignore you, you decided he was absolutely done. he was never going to see a smile coming from you ever again, he was never going to get another hello, nothing. james potter didn’t deserve a single thing from you.

your friends agreed. they thought he was a piece of shit and said you should’ve cut him off a long time before.

life went on without him, you barely thought about him. your studies were going well, everything was great.

christmas break came up and when you saw james at the train station, you were pissed. you knew he was going to be there for christmas dinner, he was always invited alongside with his family. you didn’t know how he was going to act then, was he going to pretend it never happened?

when you got home, your mother instantly started asking you what you wanted for dinner and you were glad to be home, you just hated that he was in the house next to yours.

a few nights after you both got home, you were invited for a date by steven, who worked at a bookstore near the city park. you said yes, he took you to see a shitty movie and tried to kiss you after dropping you off at your front porch. you dodged it and gave him a good night kiss on the cheek. james saw it all.

once the date left, you heard him yelling from his porch:

“who’s that?” you ignored him and went inside, sure, you weren’t going to see steven again but james didn’t deserve to know that.

on christmas day you went to the potter’s for dinner, your parents insisted for you to go, even though you tried to fake being sick. sirius was there too, you politely greeted all of them and didn’t bother to answer james’ “hey”.

when you sat at the side of the living room table james sat next to you, even though that wasn’t his usual seat. you played with your dress awkwardly and ate less, being there was making you so irritated you lost your appetite.

after taking a bite from your dessert, you thanked euphemia for the food and told your parents you were feeling a bit sick and that you were heading home, telling them to enjoy the rest of their night.

as you were opening the door to head out, you heard footsteps behind you. you knew james was there and you had no interest to talk with him.

“don’t” you simply stated, stepping out and shutting the door lightly on him, he followed you during the small walk between both your houses.

“hey!” he shouted, trying to get your attention. you were about to shut the door to your house on his face, but he held it with his foot, going into your house.

he pulled you by your wrist but you tugged it away from him.

“don’t touch me!” you shouted at him, staring into his eyes for the first time that night.

“now you can talk to me, huh? ‘the fucks up with you?!” he shouts back, brows furrowed. you couldn’t believe him, what a fucking nerve he had.

“whats up with YOU?!” you step closer to him, throwing your keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. “you’ve ignored me for the whole semester and now you wanna talk?” he had never seen you like this. you had never been this angry at anyone or anything around him.

“i’m sorry?” he had no reaction, he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t deal with it. with anything. he didn’t know what to do after he kissed you, he couldn’t handle any of it. he knew that if he spent more time around you he would fall harder, he couldn’t risk it.

“i’m sorry! now that you don’t have anyone else near for you to talk to, i’m worthy of your attention? i’m so lucky, right?!” your eyes started to tear up, but you held it in, he was not getting to see you cry.

“honey, i’m sorry i didn’t talk much with you these past few months, but i tried to speak with you tonight and you didn’t even bother to answer me!” he ran his hand through his hair, looking at you as you sat down on the couch, staring at your hands.

“you didnt even look at me. the entire fucking night. one lousy ‘hey’ is not trying to do anything” he handed you a piece of paper, it was crumpled up in his jeans’ pocket. you knew he was bad with words, but the paper was written front and back. what was he even trying to do? did he think a letter was enough to fix the damage he had done?

“really? you’re a little too late for this, don’t you think?” you said, looking at him angrily.

“fine, don’t read it then. just keep it, okay?” he knew you were about to cry. it was the worst feeling he had ever felt.

“you don’t get to do this to me, james” you hold back tears once you say it.

“i know, honey, i know” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your face as you try to not melt because of his touch. he kisses you, but this time you pull away.

“no. don’t do this to me” you say, a single tear streaming down your face, he wipes it off but more tears just keep coming

“im sorry, im so sorry for everything i did and-“ you interrupt him.

“could you just try to listen?!” you shout, pulling away from his touch again. “what makes you think that i want this? after all you did, better, all that you didn’t do?! you kiss me and expect me to forget about it? expect me to be okay with you ignoring me all the time just because you kissed me again? i can’t be okay with any of this unless you actually explain to me what happened. i really try to understand you, but all of this doesn’t help!”

“i love you” he says “i have loved you all my life and i didn’t know, after i kissed you it all hit me and i couldn’t trust myself around you anymore, i didn’t want to hurt you so i pulled away, i just didn’t know it would hurt you more like that. i’m sorry, but im here now and i want to show you how much I do love you” he pauses and sits next to you on the couch.

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please” he wipes the tears from off your face again. you knew he meant it, you just didn’t know how to trust him again.

“i don’t know” you whisper, looking into his eyes, you had never seen him look this sad. you wanted to trust him, you really did, but how could you? how could you know he wasn’t going to pull something like that again?

you couldn’t be sure of anything, you could only hope for the best and be careful. so you gave it a shot.

“come here” you say lowly, pulling him in for a hug. he buried his face in the crook of your neck and gave you small kisses.

“i’m so sorry, baby” he whispered.

“i know” you whisper back, he looks at you and gives you quick kisses all over your face. you can’t help but smile.

it was going to take a while for you to trust him again, but you knew you could.

[pixelxgore]

hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will

The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)

I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell

Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable

So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle

(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)

I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after

I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)

This is for fun and based off my head cannons

All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3

i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined

(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )

I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order

fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative

Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)

bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!

obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you

there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"

Outtake)

ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song

ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[spacelessbian]

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

[keketopia]

DEATH

[MHA PORTALS Series 1/16]

pairing. katsuki bakugo x gn!reader

synopsis. after an argument, bakugo sadly lost you in a tragic accident.

cw. aged up, prohero!bakugo, angst, death, bakugo is in grief, bakugo feels remorse.

a/n. i'm starting my first masterlist. in dedication to melanie martinez's new album! i'm starting a portals series with mha characters! each character will have a story based on the songs in order (including the deluxe track). this is not my idea so credit to @katimagines since they were the ones who came up with it (but with k-12) I hope you like death with katsuki bakugo, I will be making more soon. enjoy!

Sounds of beeping could be heard in the bedroom.

"Fuck…" Katsuki grumbled as he reached his hand out to turn off the alarm on his phone, clearly annoyed that his alarm disturbed his slumber.

But he can't complain, he's a pro hero, and he has to get up early and work. He sat up from his bed and stretched his arms, yawning. He then reached into his nightstand to check his phone, checking the time, and then he looked at the date…

November 8th…

As soon as he saw that, he felt a chill go down his spine. God, that date. Why did it have to exist? 

"Shit…already? This is a fucking nightmare"

He looks over to the photo frame that was also on his nightstand. It was a picture of him and you at a carnival. It was taken while you guys were on the Ferris wheel, with you smiling so innocently while he on the other hand raised his middle finger, the bright lights in the background making you two glow like a glowstick.

Man, that felt like forever ago, he wished he could go back to those days. But unfortunately, that wish would most likely never come true. You had died in an unfortunate accident, that was something that made Bakugo crack. He never was the same since. He remembers the day so vividly.

You two had gotten into an argument that day. It was late at night, and you were cleaning in the kitchen when suddenly Bakugo burst through the front door, his costume was ripped up and he was dirty. He was panting as if he ran so fast to get to your guy's home that you both share. You offered him some help but he shoved you away, claiming that he could clean up himself. You simply brushed it aside and let him do his business while you continued to clean up the kitchen.

After you got done, you made dinner for both you and Bakugo, you figured that he was done getting freshened up so you went to your shared bedroom to tell him. You find him on his desk doing some paperwork.

"Hey Kats, I made dinner. The food is on the tab-"

"Just bring it here" He suddenly said, eyes glued to the paper he was doing.

"Are you sure you don't wanna eat it with me?" You question, feeling saddened that your boyfriend doesn't want to eat together with you.

"Yes, I'm sure," He responded. You gave in and gave him his food, setting it on the desk. You watched as he grabbed his chopsticks and ate the food while still keeping his eyes on the paper. He didn't even spare a glance at you when you entered the room or when you offered him food. You ended up sitting at the dinner table alone, eating the food you made for yourself.

Something like this always happens just recently. He would prioritize his hero work over you. Not giving you enough attention or appreciation when you do something for him. You figured it was just his busyness which is probably the reason why he barely acknowledges you. I mean being the number two hero is not easy. However, it still bothered you how much he has been neglecting you, so you decided to calmly talk about it to him, that somehow escalated into a full-blown argument.

"ALL I'M ASKING IS FOR YOU TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK AND GIVE ME SOME LOVE FOR A LITTLE WHILE"

"THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I DO GIVE YOU SOME LOVE"

"YOU BARELY SPARED A GLANCE AT ME WHEN I GAVE YOU YOUR FOOD. I SWEAR YOU LET BEING A PRO HERO TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE SO MUCH SO THAT YOU DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN PARTNER!"

"WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I'M THE NUMBER TWO HERO, OF COURSE, IT'S GOING TO BE MY LIFE"

"BUT YOUR LIFE IS MORE THAN BEING A HERO. YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WONDERFUL PERSON WHO WOULD LITERALLY SCRATCH YOUR BACK FOR YOU. I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND INSTEAD OF APPRECIATING ME, YOU FLAT-OUT IGNORED ME. I CLEAN YOUR WOUNDS YOU IGNORED ME, I COOK YOU FOOD YOU IGNORED ME, I CLEAN THE HOUSE YOU IGNORED ME. WHAT AM I? YOUR S/O OR YOUR SERVANT?!"

"YOU'RE MY S/O, OF COURSE, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?"

"IF THAT'S HOW YOU SEE ME THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T ACT LIKE IT?!" Tears began to well up in your eyes.

"I'M SORRY BUT I'M NOT SEEING WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?!"

"I JUST EXPLAIN WHY I HAVE A PROBLEM! SEE, THIS IS ANOTHER THING. YOU DON'T LISTEN!"

"WELL, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!"

"PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME, IT IS NOT THAT HARD!!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT Y/N, YOU'RE SO SELFISH! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL HOW MUCH BEING A HERO MEANS TO ME AND YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT"

"...Are you serious? Are you actually kidding me? You're seriously blaming me? I never thought you could stoop this low" Your voice cracks up as you finally break and started crying.

"You know Katsuki, I always saw the better in you when others didn't. I helped you with your anger issues and I helped you assist at the agency. I am heartbroken that this is what I get in return. Unappreciated and unloved"

You then grabbed your jacket from the coat rack and opened the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head, I just want to be alone for a while" Was all you said before walking out and closing the door. Little did you know that those were going to be your last words. A minute later, the sounds of screaming struck Bakugo's ears. He rushed to the window and gave it a little peak, only to see a car parked in the middle of the road and your body in a pool of blood.

Time felt like it stop for Bakugo as he saw that you were not moving, his blood ran cold as he feared that the worst had happened. Without thinking twice, he ran out into the cold night without his jacket and rushed to your body. A woman was standing by her car, her face in pure horror as she realized what she had done.

"I'm so sorry! They came out of nowhere and I didn't have time to break!"

The woman was apologizing profusely, but Bakugo tuned her out. He was more focused on you. He held your bloody body with his two arms, he checked your pulse, he couldn't feel it…

At the hospital, the doctors confirmed it, you were dead. Bakugo almost felt like he was about to have a heart attack. He wanted to yell and scream at the doctors for lying. But he couldn't let it out, it was like the words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat. 

At the funeral, he kept convincing himself that this had to be some sort of hallucination or nightmare he was enduring, but unfortunately, he was not. He was in reality. The funeral was lit with candles and fresh flowers decorated your tombstone, the setting was beautiful for such a somber occasion. Everyone mourned your loss and said their prayers, while Bakugo stood there, wearing his best suit, clutching a fake candle in his hand, trying his hardest not to break down into tears. When it was finally over and he got into his car, he just let it out.

He let all of the emotions he'd been holding in for so long finally be shown at a dimly lit parking lot. Not only was he saddened that you were dead, but he also felt guilty. He blamed himself for getting you killed. He felt like a terrible boyfriend. This wouldn't have happened if he just didn't let his anger get the better of him. Damn, why did he have to start an argument? Why did he have to be so hard-headed? You were right, he never listens, and now thanks to him, you were gone, forever.

5 years later and Bakugo was still in deep sorrow. Every time Kirishima and the rest of the Bakusquad wanted to hang out with him, he would shut them out. How could he do anything when you weren't around anymore? His friends tried everything to comfort him, but he was inconsolable. 

Slowly getting up, he went inside the bathroom to take a quick shower. He then made himself breakfast and put on his hero suit. He then went outside to unlock his car but not before locking the door to his house, he put the keys into the ignition, turned on the car, and drove off.

He stops by the flower shop to pick some flowers for your grave. He entered the store and the first thing his eyes set on was a set of white calla lilies. You've always liked Calla lilies, especially the white ones as you believe that it was a symbol of rebirth and resurrection. In fact, you believed in a lot of shit, such as how you believed that there was life after death and reincarnation. Bakugo always called you weird for that but secretly, he found you quite interesting. As soon as he saw those flowers, he knew he had to get those for you, after all, it's the least he could do after what he's done.

He paid for the flowers and got back in his car and drove his way to the cemetery. Walking through the site, he passed by all the other tombstones of the citizens of Japan, eyes only focusing on the one tombstone that was the shape of a heart, with your name carved into it. Approaching your grave, he kneels down to his knee and places the flowers by your tombstone. Then he just sat there, in the grass, reading what was carved in it.

"Y/N…" He spoke out.

"I know I've said this a hundred times but, please forgive me for that night. I didn't mean to neglect you. It's just, work has been so hectic these days. Villains are out there doing their fucking crimes, I had a shit load of paperwork, it was all hell. But that doesn't excuse me for rarely giving you any attention, I'm sorry for making you feel like you're being unappreciated. You didn't deserve that. Please take these flowers as an apology and if you can hear me, show me a sign that you forgive me"

Just then, his phone began to ring. He checked it to see it was his secretary.

"Yes?"

"Sorry if I interrupt anything Mr. Bakugo but I must remind you that you have an interview with Mx. Yuno for the assistant position today"

Crap, he completely forgot about that.

"Alright, I'll be there in 15 minutes. Let Mx. Yuno know in case they come early"

"Gotcha! I'll see you later, Mr. Bakugo"

The call ended and Bakugo took one last look at your grave.

"I love you, Y/N"

And just like that, he went back into his car and drove away.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Bakugo sat in his office, waiting for his interviewee to arrive. They called to tell him that they would be a few minutes late due to heavy traffic and Bakugo did some work on his computer to pass some time. Just then, he heard a knock on his door. 

"Come in"

His secretary peeked her head through the door.

"Good Morning Mr. Bakugo, I am just here to let you know that Mx. Yuno is here"

"Alright, bring them in"

The secretary then left, leaving the door cracked open. Seconds later, she comes back.

"Here he is, good luck"

He heard the secretary say before closing the door, leaving Bakugo with his interviewee. Bakugo didn't even look at them as he was busy organizing the papers.

"Please excuse me for a moment, I need to keep everything in place"

"Sure, no problem"

Bakugo took a little peak at his interviewee and his eyes went wide.

They looked exactly like his late s/o, every facial structure looked the same, your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your ears, they even have your eye color. The only difference was your hair as it was a different color.

"Is everything okay?"

Bakugo snapped out of it. He must've stared at them for a little too long, but how could he not when the person he is interviewing is the exact replica of you.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, you kind of remind me of someone I know. Let's get this interview started"

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

After about an hour and 40 minutes the interview was over.

"I will need time to review your answers, you should get your results in about a week or two, thank you for coming, you have a nice day"

Yuno gets up from their seat and begins to walk to the door. Bakugo couldn't help but look at them, so much of Yuno reminded him of you, he wonders if this is just a coincidence or you just have a twin you never mentioned before.

He stops what he is doing and begins to do some paperwork he never finished until…

"Also, Mr. Bakugo…"

He looks up from his papers and sees Yuno halfway out the door.

"I forgive you…"

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– •

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉, 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝕴'𝖒 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉, 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝕴'𝖒 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉, 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝕴'𝖒 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉, 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊- (𝕴'𝖒 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐)

[vergeltvng]

Quizzes and other tests Masterpost

What's the color palette of your name?

tagged by @vikasgarden

Which "The National" song best describes the way you love?

THE PULL OF YOU

“ i know i can get attached and then unattached / to my own versions of others / my view of you comes back and drops away ”. your love is nervous and frightened and love, to you, feels like a curse at best. you wish to be free of it, but it keeps haunting you —— at times you manage to pull away and breathe again, others it feels as if you will choke without it. loving you can be exhausting, excruciating in a way: loving you is a little like loving the storm, never knowing when lightning will crack, but learning to appreciate the rain.

tagged by @heartofglass-mindofstone

What color is your aura?

GARNET

brooches, anthologies, stained glass, leaves, dining chairs, long robes, curtains. your essence is garnet: you are a quiet flame that dwells beneath your soft surface. self-confidence armors you; many would call you stubborn, though protective of what has come to dwell in your heart. always just a whisper away is your temper, promising to make the world bend if it would make your loved ones smile. you are the guardian. you are the volcano. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of terracotta, tawny, crimson, and umber, who share your proactive nature. you are also drawn to the vibrant indigo and marigold, who will help you grow and teach you to name what's inside of you. however, you may struggle to get along with the internal personalities of teal and hickory who are too willing to be silent.

tagged by @merry-andrews (@homelander-rp-blog)

What are your hands covered in?

BLOOD

Do you hear the screams of them, as you take and take and take? You never stop taking, right? Because the world took so much from you. It’s fair, right? Even as you dig your hands into their chest and pull, trying to rip apart something that has hurt you. Even as they grasp weakly at your wrists, sobbing and pleading, saying that they’re sorry. It must have hurt. Hurt much more than this for you to do it. Their chest heaves and you hold their heart in your hands. It looks the same as yours. Isn’t that interesting?

tagged by @hochglvnz @heartofglass-mindofstone

Which tarot card are you?

THE MOON

You are imaginative, often lost in fantasies. Your intuition is powerful and you can often trust your gut instincts. Just like the moon, you have lots of different sides and interests and people perceive you as mysterious.

tagged by @vikasgarden

Let me describe you in one adjective

ENDLESS

you're empty, aren't you? you contain multitudes, as everyone does. but you've looked into your own vastness and found it unbearable to know how much of yourself you contain. just because the ocean is huge and unexplored and filled with miles of nothing but water doesn't mean people don't find it beautiful anyway. after all, emptiness can only be filled if someone puts something there to grow.

tagged by @vikasgarden

How do strangers perceive you?

THE GROUND BENEATH US IS SOLID

sitting under a tree in summer. the sound of light rain on a metal roof and old wooden coffee tables. getting so absorbed in a story that hours pass without you noticing. you probably judge people who don't use coasters. your best feature is your hands. you're often pretty logical, but you're also very gentle. you're not aggressive, but you do have strong opinions. you like gardening. you have a deep need for comfort and security. you like things to make sense. you're afraid of circumstances out of control, but letting go helps you live so much more vividly than you could ever imagine.

tagged by @vikasgarden

What's your role in the tragic play?

MISUNDERSTOOD VILLAIN

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

tagged by @a-neverending-story

What part of this haunted house are you?

THE SPIRIT

You’re trapped here, aren’t you, even if you like to say it’s of your own volition. I know better, and I bet you do, too. There’s this sickening kind of resentment that lives in your stomach, always trying to claw up and out through your mouth. People think they are entitled to your time and your being simply because you exist, which makes you feel both seen and entirely invisible at the same time. It feeds that anger inside of you, and it is a matter of time, every time, before that resentment turns sour, climbs out of your lungs, and rears its head at whoever is closest. This is your home. You’re the keeper of this house, and, in turn, it keeps you.

tagged by @homelander-rp-blog

What's your red flag?

OBSESSIVE

youre always fixated on certain things, preventing you from moving on.

tagged by @vikasgarden

What color are you?

RED

You are all that is hot and passionate. You are love and hate. You are the heart that beats and the blood that pumps it. You are beauty and destruction. You are red, you are perfect. please visit me̵ a̷g̸a̵i̷n̷.

tagged by @vikasgarden

(What the fuck?! I even did it twice to confirm that this quiz successfully wasted my time, haha!)

How difficult are you as a person?

You are an extremely difficult person to get along with (85.71%).

tagged by @heartofglass-mindofstone & @chaoticjoke (ages ago)

Testing your susceptibility to anger

This makes you 47.2% more susceptible to anger than the average person.

tagged by @a-neverending-story

[silver-wield]

Hi! I feel like I've found my people in you. After beating Rebirth, I've had extremely complicated feelings towards the ending and though it's slowly marinating with me. One of the reasons why the ending has been bothering me is because I've just felt off about Aerith's characterizations.

I was endeared by Aerith in remake but in rebirth I totally see the qualities that some people in og did with just how tone deaf she can be. In a way, I find that her character is interesting since she's flawed but her pushiness to cloud just rubbed me the wrong way. If ppl get Aerith in chapter 8's date we see Cloud clearly mourning Jessie and the only thing she cares about is if Jessie was a gf...like girl come on. Do people not see how this comes off?

Which brings me to say, I just don't get Aerith. The devs portray tifa and aerith as close so clearly she knows about Tifa's feelings and even seems to push the two together at times but then she constantly seeks Cloud's affection and even says they went on a date in front of Tifa? That's where her character loses me. Her constant seeming to push CT together yet constantly seeking Cloud's affections despite knowing Tifa has feelings for him and a shared history just doesn't sit well with me.

I can appreciate Aerith recognizes she doesn't know the real Cloud but this is why I'll never understand why Cleriths are so insistent that CA are "romantic" - she dies so she *never* gets to see who the real Cloud is. They clearly have a deep bond that helps enrich the story but the fact that Tifa's role was greatly expanded on in part 2 should be telling but some fans and Cleriths just straight up ignore that. Cloud is also the one who initiates everything with Tifa...the only time he's ever vulnerable and VERBALLY opens up his true feelings is with Tifa (Gongaga) and it baffles me how Cleriths just bypass this entirely. It makes me realize they're just here for the ship and not for the overarching story.

I just feel like I'm being gaslit by Cleriths or some fans who insists that Cloud loves both girls. I'm definitely not denying that the og had more leeway with this but in Remake and Rebirth? I would say the opposite. Tifa is the best suited for Cloud *and* he feels the same way. I am all about shipping whoever you want but CA's are always spewing nonsensical things. The theme songs, the over analyzing hand holding debacle and bringing up japanese culture as if a kiss isn't the most intimate thing between two people regardless of culture. Ignoring the most central theme of the songs which are regret (Cloud's guilt in hollow of failing to save her) ...Yes NPTK is about Aerith TO Cloud but we never see anything from his perspective TO Aerith. Guess who does? Tifa. Cleriths also conveniently ignore that Tifa was pushed to the forefront the entirety of rebirth until the final 2 chapters for obvious plot reasons and they all dismiss Gongaga's near kiss between CT.

Then there's Aerith's dream date at the end...Cloud has no agency in that date, he can't even choose the items himself! It's HER dream and things are predetermined for him. And is it just me or is Aerith basically re-creating her date with Zack in CC? I get why CA's think that dream date is romantic but objectively it doesn't read romantic at all...it just reads tragic because Aerith knows she's about to die - one last ditch effort for her which just doesn't amount to anything other than Cloud caring deeply for her as a person/friend. Or am I just not seeing something that "everyone" else is? Aerith herself sounds unsure how she feels towards him. Yes she has feelings for him but she's never been able to fully define them ("There's liking and there's liking"...huh?) This is also the perfect opportunity for the devs to have both girls in equal footing and cloud still doesn't kiss her or makes his supposed romantic feelings known. I like to understand the "bigger picture" in the narrative and the bigger picture to me is just obviously spells out Tifa in the end - just from a pure narrative standpoint.

And do Cleriths not see how Cloud reacts to Aerith? As someone who actually likes Aerith minus her pushiness to Cloud, even I was surprised at how he straight up told her to stop calling it a date in Costa Del Sol. Cleriths argue it's "cute banter" but this is where they lack media literacy because lmfao if anyone said this to me irl I'd be mortified because Cloud really does not give any indication that he's "joking." And Cloud doesn't even remotely have any kind of dialogue like that towards Tifa at all...even all of Tifa's optional choices are sweet at best and neutral at worst but you can straight up be an ass to everyone else including Aerith.

I just hope that in Part 3, the devs just kill the LTD with finally cementing CT and tying everything nicely with them and Aerith and Zack. Zack is one of my favourite characters ever and I feel like they did him so dirty in this game...having Marlene straight up tell him to his face that Aerith loves Cloud like???? He deserves his happy ending and perhaps WHEN Aerith and him reunite (cause they're both dead they have to right?) then it'll all click to her.

Also, Cloud is a really well written character and I really do not think he'd go after his dead best friend's girl who he just remembered. It's such a disservice not only to Zack but to Cloud's own character. The fact that Cloud says "Zack fair, head over heels for Aerith" is telling, no? Objectively and narratively CT and ZA make the most sense but again I feel like I'm constantly being gaslit into seeing CA when I really don't and the only thing CA has going for them are the last 2 chapters which are Aerith heavy for a reason because you know...she dies lol.

Sorry I didn't mean for this to be long but just wanted to have some engagement on the topic (I know you always get asks but just wanted to get something off my chest!) Thank you so much!

Couple points: hollow isn't about Aerith in any capacity. Hollow is set before Cloud arrives in Midgar and an instrumental of it plays in the wasteland outside Kalm near where Zack died, so yeah, not about her.

And nptk is about zack. If it wasn't then why tf is she crying at the end? If it's about Cloud then why doesn't he acknowledge this obvious confession in her date or any other? Why does he take Tifa's hand? Literally the opening verse about how she didn't know how much time passed until she saw someone who reminded her of Zack is the only part featuring Cloud and it's hardly complimentary. It highlights she only took an interest in him because he reminded her of Zack. Idky anybody would want something that skeevy.

Tbh I hate both songs. They're shit.

Gaslighting is what those dumdums do. They don't play the game, they skim YouTube and lie about the clips they saw.

The best thing to do is block and ignore them.

[antiqua-lugar]

tagged by @invinciblerodent and thank you so much for the tag, it was super fun and a great break for today!

tagging @margridarnauds, as I think pairing songs with kissy-picrew (using this one) sounds right up your alley!

also all under the cut, because. well.

I still haven't found the perfect song for them as a couple but I have found the perfect song for when gale tried to blow himself up, and then to achieve goodhood and then TRIED TO BLOW HIMSELF UP THREE MORE TIMES, LOVE OF MY LIFE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THAT

The perfect song for two men riddled by insecurity issues who just need to fully believe each others' Anywhere you go, let me go too / Love me, that's all I ask of you

(And the lines Let me lead you from your solitude and Say the word and I will follow you are a nice bonus. If Caradoc being Raoul and Gale being Christine means that the Phantom is Mystra, then so be it).

I have actually a whole folk song playlist for the two of them, especially because there are so many folk songs about someone called William, like SO MANY and some of them are SO appropriate but I have a soft spot for this one which is a version of the beauty and the beast (or the loathly lady) trope. tl;dr monstrous lady comes in his house and because King Henry is *that *noble and good he lets her eat all his favourite animals *and *sleeps with her, she becomes a beautiful maiden and in some versions also brings all the animals back to life

Also I like the ambiguity of the ending where imho it's not exactly clear how the curse broke BUT IT DID and now King Henry has the world most beautiful woman as a reward for being so good and noble.

Wyll gets a redeemed Bhaalspawn instead but that's probably how Mister Wylliam "I wanna get married and have children. Let's get engaged and then go to the Hells to slay demons together for the foreseeable future" Ravengard likes it.

Aaaand it's this one:

Now that Patch 6 lets them be together even if she wants to fly away on a dragon it's less tragic for me to figure out their ending but the way the male singer is hoping she'll live another day and he will be by her side (And if she doesn't have the will/But it seems the whole world does I'll stay because/ *I will be the man my father never was) while she tells the gods that if they touch him they WILL pay (But to a woman by the end you'll kneel and plead/'Cause I'm more than what my mum told me to be*)...

So the main problem with these two is that Elendris' doesn't really care about anything except the ones he loves and Astarion really should NOT be trusted with that influence on him until his character development kicks in *and they are both painfully self aware of it but *also don't really know how to stop it before it goes too far. And that's why they sent themselves to the Underdark so they can figure it out while helping people. And maybe develop some morals.

I assume some level of this will always exist in their relationship and for some reason this is the song to express it:

I like the self awareness of the couple in the song, the joy in love and being loved in this way and also we're like an odd pair of shoes / One slightly stylish and one slightly plain / One for the nightlife and one for the rain does sound like something Mister Astarion "UGH" Ancunín would say.

Last but not least, for my old veterans with trauma:

There is a version with English lyrics here, it's a love song about how the other person is the only one who truly understood them and I love that the chorus says "By looking for you in this world, I got to know it and I gave it to you". It truly fits Ves'i'ran background of having being promoted/kicked out of gythianki society due to how obviously "sentimental" he is and having spent decades as a ranger in Faerun, learning to love it while being unable to just stop being loyal to an absent queen because otherwise what's the point of everything.

Halsin instead gets "In recent years I have lost more than one friend / I lost myself plus a few lighters / Life gives and then it takes/ That's why I'm afraid to be near you"

There was probably something more thematically appropriate but I like italian rap. Sue me.

[weed-ols]

Reviewing Every UKISS Release: By Unpopular Demand ~ Tick Tack + Forever (For KISS Me) + Forbidden Love

So releases from this point onward until around ~2014/15ish are constant and hectic, so I've had to deviate from my original plan a bit. I think grouping the JP singles + KR digital singles in 3s helps keep things a little less...unwieldy, and less constrained by image limits on posts.

Tick Tack - 1st JP Single | 2011.12.14

This was the PV that got accidentally leaked, right? Like they posted the full version of this instead of the short version, and that's why it was so easy to watch it on YouTube or whatever, and it was super easy to get the full audio because of it lol. I think it only took me a day or two to find a 320kbps download of it. Anyway, another pivotal moment of my tween years.

Tick Tack (Audio) | YouTube Music 5.3M | Spotify 1.11M

God that clock sound is so good

Love the entire vocal line stuffed into the first verse

Vocal troika taking the chorus love that for them

Also love stuffing everyone into the second verse

I like that the parallel with the first and third verses where the former is all the vocalists and the latter is all the rappers

SooHoon + Dongho bridge? An odd combo but very much goated

Honestly super impressed at how much this song is a team effort

Obviously Soohyun, Kevin, and Hoon have the most lines since they do the chorus, but Dongho gets a good amount with his little extra rap, and while AJ, Eli, and Kiseop get a couple lines each

And yeah sure it's a couple of lines, but they are attention-grabbing

Always appreciate a good bookend with the clock returning

Love the dramatic music, love the dramatic lyrics, it's such a good follow-up to NEVERLAND, and an insane first JP release

So lyrically, is this a reluctant breakup song? Like is this a toxic relationship that they're ending even though they're still in love?

That's a new breakup theme for them

10/10 "the perfect Japanese debut for a Kpop group doesn't exi-" wrong

Tick Tack (MV) | Short ver. 3.9M | Official upload 733k

Oh buckle in buckaroos I got a legit copy of this on my laptop AND of every JP MV right up until 2016 babyyy

And I can't remember if it was they learnt the choreo in 3 days (while promoting) or if they both learnt it in 3 days while their choreographer was still working on it

Iconic and lol their positions

Kiseop, AJ, and Eli are just kinda comfortably posing

Soohyun on his knees, Dongho chilling on the floor, and Kevin making modern art with his body lol

Also the dramatic grasping hands

Abandoned Warehouse Set #1 with an amazingly large clock

Abandoned Warehouse Set #2 + group sadboy shot

I love the black/white look with red accents super chic, but is Soohyun the only one without white? I mean fair he is the real MC of UKISS

Not Hoon being the only in a full pose

Ew Kiseop don't touch the dust/ash that's dirty

Oh his hair....it's kinda pompadour-esque. I remember thinking it was super cool back in the day, but it's kinda...tragic now lol

Still looks good though, hard for his face card to ever decline

Love the fanning out of this part, it's super cool on stages for such a simple step

Also these grey suits are gorgeous and it's 2011, so of course it's paired with combat boots

Surprised that this dance has only resulted in one instance of ripped pants

Could be more, but Hoon ripping his pants during their Best Of tour promos is peak comedy

This part is also very cool, very fun to look at

I could've sworn they wore gloves during the dance, but I guess not? They're wearing them for the dramatic solo shots though

Dongho with yet again the bowliest bowlcut to ever bowl

Another personal favourite choreo bit

It's a bit difficult to explain, but the force and purpose Soohyun uses when he slides his hand down Kiseop's back is so cool

The way he pops up kills me every time

These are the worst outfits in the video

I hate the white sleeves so much they make them look juvenile

Like I get black sleeves probably wouldn't have worked with this set since they'd get lost in the dark edges of the frame

But a dark colour would've worked, or heck even no sleeves

On the topic of outfits, not much to say about their hair that hasn't been said already

This was filmed during NEVERLAND promos I think, so their hair is fine

Kevin, Soohyun, and AJ have great hairstyles; Hoon, Eli, and Dongho are fine; Kiseop's pompadour is meh, but I really like his hair when they're in the grey suits

The fluffy hair looks really good on him, much better than the sleek look he wore for NEVERLAND

The dance battle is cute, really helps give everyone a bit more spotlight

This part? Seared into my brain

What's falling down from the ceiling? Ashes? Dust? Snow? Asbestos? We may never know

Anyway, no story, just a banger dance and brooding shots in The Box and some abandoned spaces

Oh and this isn't in the MV, obviously, but remember how Hoon and Kiseop nearly knocked each other out while filming this? I don't remember the exact documentary, but it must have been that one they did during NEVERLAND

They were all so enamoured with the giant clock too lol

10/10 still gives an insane dopamine rush

Coincidence | YouTube Music 113k | Spotify N/A

It's so insane that this banger is just a random b-side for a single?

I'm trying to figure out who dominates this song, and while my initial instinct is to say it's a Kevin song, Eli is also a very constant presence? Soohyun and Hoon also have parts that are more memorable. All I can say is that this is definitely not a Kiseop (RIP) song

Love the first and last choruses are SooVin while the others are HoonVin

Soohyun's little "follow me!" is so cute omg

I really like AJ's rap here he always makes it so interesting

The cute little SooSeop verse

Dongho's rap was also nice, like the little break for AJ and AJ+Eli

The little bridge part with SooHoon and Eli+Dongho is really cool

I like the darker sound of this, very fitting to be Tick Tack's b-side

Not entirely sure what the song is about? I think it's about meeting an ex again, hence all the mentions of coincidences and fate?

The colourless world mentions sure make it sound depressing though

Also looking at the lyrics, I thought the song was a lot more complex than it is? It really is just like 5 choruses, 3 post-choruses, a couple of verses and a bridge

I think the constant switching of singers/rappers help make it sound more complex

9.5/10 super catchy. I can't believe I actually forgot about this song until I got back into this hellscape

0330 -Piano & Chorus ver.- | YouTube Music N/A | Spotify N/A

There's no official upload but the fan upload of it is sitting at 16k

I think they did this in their 2012 tour? Anyway, sounds a lot like the Christmas version which I really like

Love the stripped down sound, really turns it from crying in the club to crying in the tub

What can I say, I'm a sucker for them harmonizing in the background

Vocal troika really shines in sounding like kicked puppies in this version

9.25/10 higher than the original version because I love me some pathetic-sounding men (affectionate)

Forever (For KISS Me) - 1st Digital Single | 2011.12.22

I remember this coming out!!! Got home from school and did the good ol' YT video-mp3 converter to get it on my laptop. I remember distinctly loving it, then also never playing it lol. It's got a special place in my heart now though, like special as in it makes me a bit teary lol.

Forever (For KISS Me) | YouTube Music 419k | Spotify 13k

So if I'm remembering correctly, this is a song they reworked to be fanservice. The original singers were an older NH group, I think, like before Paran

Something Eli and AJ always having to do a spoken word opening in their songs from this time is so funny to me

"Parting was so hard 'cause you are my only passion" I always thought that it was "partying was so hard" which was super funny, but I see now that I was wrong

"Come visit here it's our lovely party mansion" that always gets a chortle from me like I love them, I actually wouldn't mind drinking with them, but I do not wanna party with them they're all insane

I think it's cute they all get whole verses to themselves, really gives them all enough time to shine during encores lol

So after the Dongho and Eli raps come my favourite part of the whole song - the sex kitten vocal trio building up to Soohyun

Kiseop > Hoon > Kevin > Soohyun is sooooo good and I love building from Kiseop's soft voice to Soohyun the Powerhouse

Also once again, validates my belief that what Kevin is to Soohyun vocally, is what Kiseop is to Hoon, and is why the four of them can be matched off with each other in any way and still sound good

Honestly, the song is mostly the vocal line, sans AJ. The rap line is just there to act as hype men

Music is cute, super upbeat and poppy, and the lyrics are equally mushy

7.75/10 not something I'd listen to on my own volition, but it's always fun watching lives of this, and I love how much the vocal line is allowed to shine (read: I love how many lines Kiseop gets)

Forbidden Love - 2nd JP Single | 2012.02.29

I remember obsessively watching the short MV on YouTube because now when I listen to the song, I can still pick out exactly where it ended lol. I also remember really wanting the shirts they wore for the single cover because it was so ~*~cool~*~ and lowkey edgy, which is perfect for a wangsty tween.

Forbidden Love (Audio) | YouTube Music 1.2M | Spotify 571k

Another song, another dance beat, and I'm absolutely not complaining lol

I really like Kevin's opening line, love the "...najitte mitari-i-i" bit

Plenty of gratuitous English, a very important staple for them from this point on

Again, the entire vocal line stuffed into the first verse, yeah AJ's not singing, but he was there

Love how Hoon drags out the "...datta kedo~" part right into Soohyun's line, and the slowdown in Soohyun's line to transition to Kiseop, and AJ's rap picks up the pace again into the chorus, super fun to listen to

Even though I know the start of the chorus is "I, my, me, mine", I always forget the "mine" because it's off-beat

And okay, the first chorus always kills me because of Soohyun

The "subete kakete Egaku ai no sign", is so funny to me because I just think about him doing the ahegao face while singing it during the MC break in their anniversary tour

Like his eyes were completely rolled back and the camera, bless their heart, did a great close up

And he did it like 3 times I love him so much

Back to the song, I really like how the second verse starts with Kiseop, and how Eli bridges the gap between him to Soohyun, and they do the same thing as verse 1, this time going from Soohyun > Hoon > Kiseop

HoonVin second chorus, once again, has me begging for more duets with them, they sound insanely sweet

Vocal troika taking the last chorus is soooo good

SooHoon back-to-back high notes? They were feeding us so good

Love the constant "love, love, love" and "you make me feel this love" in the background

Like it's almost too much with the music, but it oddly works?

The song is basically exactly what the title says - a forbidden relationship that's doomed to end, but they're like "no baby I love youuuu"

There's also an implication of class difference? First verse has what google tells me translates to "this relationship began with me overreaching myself/but I finally feel like I'm equal to you"

Could just be that girl is way out of their league, idk

10/10 I go back and forth between whether I prefer Tick Tack over this, but they're both like pure dopamine being injected in to my brain

Forbidden Love (MV) | Short ver. 604k | Official upload 462k

Once again, I was so obsessed with watching the short MV

Yes I did watch the full version but I mostly watched the official short one because I couldn't afford to materially support them

There's a lot happening in this first scene

First, Kiseop, take your damn shoes off that's dirty, but I'm happy you're like kind of the protagonist for the non-dance non-solo shot parts of this

Second, why is there a life preserver on the bed? Is it supposed to symbolize that this forbidden love is a life saver?

Why are the chairs tipped over? Why is there an Arizona 51 sign? Are the sirens like directly outside the window or what? What exactly is that next to the bed?

Aww the little Kevin solo dance

I like the little circular bit they do while snapping to change formation

Soohyun bodying the hell out of this part

*Kevin voice* "Why are you so passionate during this part of the dance? Is there something you need to tell us?"

Or at least something like that god Teattari Shidai was so funny, and Kevin and Soohyun were constantly catfighting at that time

I think his explanation was about timing the body roll to it but idk he's just really good at it

I like this set by the way, a new version of The Box for them

Is...is that a tree? Why is there a tree growing in your apartment?

Ooh AJ was really hot in this era I think this is when he fully entered my crush category

Is he wearing winged liner? Goated love his eyes

Kiseop and AJ always make this part of the dance look so cool

Oh and the preceding part with the little shuffle into this

They just have that je ne sais quoi chill that makes look natural

Man I just love this dance, there's a bunch of shoulder shimmies and like at least 3 pelvic thrusts

Wait my guy why is mattress bare like that

Okay pause for a moment to talk about these costumes

Love the black-red suit combo, love the red laces on the boots

I'm a huge sucker for epaulettes so obviously AJ has my favourite suit

Love the rhinestoned lapels for Kiseop and Kevin

Like the glittery lapels for Soohyun and Dongho

Eli has epaulettes too, but because they're also black, they're practically invisible until the closeup shots

Hoon's suit is fine, just more subtle with glitter on the outside of his lapels

In terms of hair, Kiseop and AJ are on their A-game, love the fluffier hair for them

Soohyun, Hoon, and Eli all look fine, like those are pretty standard looks for them

Dongho still has his bowlcut, and while I don't hate Kevin's hair, I wish it had more texture to it?

The ironed hair with the sideswept bangs just aren't that great on him, especially not with the single-toned hair

WHY IS SOOHYUN SO GOOD AT THIS WHY IS HE SLIGHTLY CUPPING HIS HAND

Also like this set, very cool

These costumes are okay, the white-red is a nice combo, but the clothes themselves are less snazzy and more understated the other set

Most baffling choice is why Dongho has a belted coat on rather than a blazer

Also not a huge fan of the longer jackets Soohyun, Kiseop, and Kevin have on

It's not the worst, and I think I could like them in a different MV, but it's a bit too...floppy with this dance

Hairs are a downgrade from the first set of costumes, except for AJ whose hair is glorious at this time

Like I'm sorry to bring this up again but look at his winged linerrrr

He actually looks like a cat

Oooh slowmo shot during the dance break

They really love this move we'll be seeing this a lot in their JP dances

Well I mean they already did a variation of it in Shut Up!!

Also love this part it's so cool how Kiseop transitions back to the dance, very reminiscent of when he does this in NEVERLAND

I like how the choreo tones down for the double high notes so everyone's focusing on Hoon and Soohyun

Lowkey wish we got a dance version of this I would love a wide shot of this to see every bit of choreo

There's no shot of them in their casual outfits, but they all looked fine, very standard 2012 male idol fashion

So yeah, not really much of a story to this, lots of solo shots and dancing

9.5/10 I think I'd prefer a whole dance vid for this, and I really didn't like the white costumes, and they never answered why were the sirens going off at the apartment set???

Redial | YouTube Music 13k | Spotify N/A

I completely forgot about this song until recently

I do vaguely remember listening to it before, so I think I had it on my first laptop and for whatever reason either forgot to transfer it to my second one, or couldn't find another download of it

Is that...a synth harpsichord? It sounds like the harpsichord setting on electronic keyboards like I swear that's what the one at school sounded like

SooSeop sharing verses? Goated

I thought this song had a lot more Hoon and Kevin, but I guess not?

Vocal troika are kinda tied for lines, even though I think I remember Kevin's more because he does a title drop in the first chorus

Dongho gets a bulk of the raps, but Eli isn't too far behind, nor is AJ

Kiseop gets what amounts to nearly a whole verse, plus he's sharing with Soohyun so that's cool

Ooh just noticed it's a sex kitten trio leading in from the second half of the first verse to the pre-chorus and chorus

It feels like a weirdly paced song

I don't know if it's all the synth sounds and the heavy beat, or if it's the lengthier raps to a slower beat but it feels both oddly long and short at once, even though it's basically the same length as Forbidden Love

Maybe it's the shorter verses compared to the raps and choruses?

Or how the bridge comes out of the second rap chunk without really changing tempo as it goes to the last verse?

Lyrically, it's pining over an ex, very normal UKISS stuff

7.5/10 I do like it and it is in a lot of my playlists, but something about this song just makes me uneasy lol

I wish I had a fun fact for this little time, but unfortunately everything funny I know from 2012 is from after this. Anyway, crazy that this all happened within a year of 0330 and Hoon and AJ joining. Like they honestly fit in so seamlessly it's like they've always been there.

So yeah, we're fully entering what I guess we can call their 'peak' era in terms of popularity (lol, lmao even) and activities, and also approaching when I started being chronically online and had actively blogged about them on this good ol' hellsite. Yes, I did find all of my reblogs and tags from that time and dear lord, 2012-2014 for tweenies-turning-teens is very psyche-damaging in our current year.

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #37:

Michael Penn's March

Here's another story. Again, mostly true.

In 8th grade I got a bad case of Chicken Oak.

Never heard of Chicken Oak? It's what you get when you are a pimply, insecure and pale skinned 8th grader who is forever crazy about a girl named Anjanette and you get a bad case of poison oak from fooling around outside your grandparents' ranch house in the San Gabriel mountains, a case so bad you have to miss school and spend your days instead slathering your pubescent 90 pound body with oatmeal-type concoctions which do not help and you can't sleep for days at a time and are starting to climb out your bedroom window at 2am and wander around your neighborhood while listening to your poorly-dubbed-from-the-library copy of The Cure's Disintegration on your primitive walkman and so your parents, concerned about your illness and Robert Smith's whole vibe, take you to Urgent Care and have you shot up with steroids to utterly silence your raging immune system but, little did you or anyone else know, your younger siblings were all just exposed to the Chicken Pox and you were born in the 70's, long before there was a vaccine, and you've never had that ridiculous childhood disease, so a few days later you've added a disabled immune system's mammoth version of the pox to the oak and you're no longer a pimply and insecure 8th grader; rather you are the elephant man in a full blown teenage health crisis: one eye is literally swollen over into a giant pulsating wound and every inch of you is leaning into shivering panic.

That's the Chicken Oak, folks: a formative illness indeed.

It takes a month of living in the late 80's with the condition to discover that at 2am some vampire takes over control of MTV, removes the Fine Young Cannibals from the rotation and plays obscure stuff instead, the kind of music you'll never encounter on the Top 20 Countdown with this guy.

And that's how you discover Michael Penn.

I loved this song from the first moment I saw the video, and I spent the rest of my sleepless month with the poison poxs trying to catch it on air again.

Part of the attraction was its illusive (at least to 14 year old me) lyrics. Penn struck me as a sensitive and bashful poet with a record contract who was terribly alluring to all thoughtful ladies; but he also read deep books and sang passionately about both topics - he basically embodied my ideal future.

I knew about Romeo in a basic sense: he was one of Shakespeare's teenagers and he surely gave some big deal speeches in a play I'd never seen nor read; he was the kinda guy who climbed his lady friends' balconies and died tragically for love, just like I too might one day die for the love of sweet Anjanette, except I'd probably never see her again because I was surely disfigured for life and therefore would soon be forced to relocate to a cave in Brazil where I'd live under an assumed name and terrify children from the village.

But who the hell was Heathcliff? Judging by the video and the song's overall sweet vibe I felt pretty sure this way cooler brother to Sean wasn't singing about the Garfield rip off.

I wanted to track Michael Penn down and claim him as my new and now surely, after my month of isolation, only friend: what books should I read, Michael? How do you make your hair look so cool? Why doesn't my six string sound like yours? And is that a drum machine playing in your song? Are drum machines even ethical, Michael? Should I get black jeans? If so, where? Help me, Michael!

Before my month of misery was up I weaseled my anxious mother into going to Sam Goody without me and buying me March, Penn's debut album, on tape. Then I played it nonstop.

The whole record sounded homemade and majestic, a fitting soundtrack addition alongside the aforementioned Disintergration and Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars for the day long bikes rides I began to take as my entire face crusted over and started to harden up, like a rotten egg regrowing its shell.

Every song seemed like an entire world on its own, the melancholic yet catchy choruses waking up bits of what would become my future self. I knew what it was like to sleep on a bed of nails;

I too wanted a place in the brave new world.

I began to heal as Spring drew to a close: the sores became scabs; I was hideous and doomed, but no longer a literal danger to others. I watched midnight MTV out of habit, not necessity, and No Myth fell out of the 2am rotation.

I pictured my return to school with dread: my friends would have moved on; they were nice guys so they'd pretend to welcome me back, but I'd slip away, leaving them relieved: the disfigured can claim no place in a middle school. And so I planned to make my way to the far end of the school's middle level at breaks, the spot on campus where the deepest misfits and poor special ed kids gravitated so as to rock in place, weeping, drooling and laughing without cause. They'd be glad to have me. For the rest of my life. That cave in Brazil was just a pipe dream.

But then, miracles unfolded.

First, Michael Penn returned to MTV for a second split second. Seriously: I really believe this video was only shown once on the network. It was 2am and I was the only person watching. Join me, won't you? Let's give it its second showing of all time:

Okay, I hear you. Jimi Hendrixs Michael is not. And the actor brought in to air strum the bass is an embarrassment. And yes, there is no explanation whatsoever for the creep in the foreground, and I cannot explain any of the plot here to you.

But come on: check out that lady defying gravity! Note how nothing of substance musically occurs in the last 30 seconds; they just keep playing the same, slow and sweet keyboard hook. And admit it: Michael looks more like Hugh Grant's sibling than Sean's. Maybe there was a mix up in the hospital or something. Wow, I still really love this stuff.

When that first and only showing of the video ended I stood up, defiant. I turned MTV off and, basically, never watched it again. Suddenly it seemed like there were more important things to do.

And when I climbed on my bike a day or two later, ready for the first return to school, that same sense still surged in me. I didn't know what to call it, but it felt good. I picked up my buddy Matt on the ride in and joyfully told him to not worry about it when he asked what the plan was for, you know, explaining my face. Being a thoroughly excellent human being, he trusted me and asked no further questions.

"Yeah, I've got herpes," I happily declared to all 614 of the 8th graders who stared at me that day. "I've got it pretty bad!"

Here's a secret, Dollar Binners, a secret you are welcome to pass on to anyone you know who's still in middle school: when faced with teenage adversity it's time to go big and be weird or just fold up and whimper. I did the former, and I've tried doing it ever since.

Matt, and the few other people who mattered, stuck with me that day. In fact they thought my whole approach was pretty awesome. Together we gave up on being popular and settled for joyful instead. We turned up Michael Penn and embraced our own individual selves, scabs and all.

P.S. As you can tell from the stock photo in the opening, this is a record I don't yet own. And my 80's tape is long, long gone. Someday I will come across a copy of March in the Dollar Bin. It will be tattered and unloved, full of skips and crunches. It will be wonderful.

[its-to-the-death]

Godddamn this competition has consumed so much of a time over the past week.

Bracket H thoughts:

Both of the first ones were good so I chose "Attack at the Wall" out of personal preference.

Darla had a point, people do love things that are "Big and Loud." The reprise is better with the context of the original.

...I know everyone is gushing in the notes about "I'm the Villain in My Own Story" and "Playing With the Big Boys Now" isn't the best villain song in that movie, but I honestly enjoyed it more? Probably because of a combination of nostalgia and *Megamind voice* PRESENTATION! Also probably doesn't help that I haven't watched Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in forever.

"Marley and Marley" is a darkly awesome bop.

"Molasses to Rum" is such a weirdly cool callout of Northern hypocrisy that I voted for it, but I was really tempted by "When the Chips Are Down" because I do think that one is better musically.

After much deliberation, I voted for "One Step Ahead" because I am a sucker for the homoerotic power of swordfighting and calling someone "old friend". Also the soundtrack version of "Made in America" is better than the live performance because everyone was kind of sick when they did the Black Friday proshoot and it really shows.

The lyrics of "Why We Build The Wall" are so good, damn.

"Descole's theme live version" just sounded better to me, IDK.

Oh my god "Countdown." Dawn's singing. The hidden countdown in the lyrics. "The tick-tock of my flintlock's hangfire." The Western guitar. Vote for "Countdown," PLEASE. Everyone needs to hear Dawn sing right now.

"I Love You (As Much As Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone)" doesn't even seem that evil to me, that's just an aromantic trying to clarify the nature of her relationship with her fuckbuddy (joking). Anyway, try watching the actual Omega Flowey boss fight and tell me "Your Best Nightmare" doesn't deserve the win.

...I love "The Ballad of Sara Berry," but "God-Shattering Star" is one of the few redeeming factors of the rushed clusterfuck that is the final stages of Verdant Wind*. Anyway it's still a really badass song with a badass title.

"Friends in Low Places" is a kickass rock number. Also why are FernGully's villain songs so weirdly horny.

THAT FUCKING PIANO. VOTE FOR "BATTLE! POKEMON WIELDER VOLO."

Ok guys I know we all love PnF but "Evil for Extra Credit" is not as good as Bernadette Peters' villainous yet tragic performance in "Stay With Me."

THE PLATYPUS SONG IS NOT A VILLAIN SONG. HE'S NOT DOING VILLAINY OR SINGING ABOUT VILLAINY. HE'S JUST DJ-ING A PARTY. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

The essay in the notes about "Eternity Served Cold" convinced me to vote for it. Join us filthy Homestucks in turning this one around.

*Why does nobody talk about the antisemitic implications of the eeeeevil conspiracy of underground people (who you genocide) that are secretly ruling the world with blood magic+infiltrating society and were responsible for killing Crystal Dragon Jesus. I mean, I know why, but come on guys.

Aaaa I’ve loved hearing your opinions on all these even though that probably took so much time!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Kissing (3) Masterlist

Links last checked: November 5th, 2024

part one, part two

after the rain (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: they meet at pride

An Experiment Gone Right - phansomedevil

Summary: At a party, Phil suggests an experiment to test if he and Dan really are 100 percent platonic. What, after all, would happen if they kissed? 

finding you (ao3) - spaceandvinyls

Summary: dan is tired of being pushed around and called a whore. he meets phil at a party, expected to get used again, but instead finds himself falling in love with him.

Frottica (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan finally acts on his feelings toward the sexy barista at Lester's Coffee Shop. Phil is relieved by the man's boldness, and an exciting new relationship begins.

Fuck Away The Pain (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Phil’s boyfriend cheats on him leaving him a mix of sad, angry, and a million other unidentified emotions.

Luckily Dan was always there for him.

Graveyard (ao3) - Numberonephanboy

Summary: "You're bringing me lunch in a graveyard?"

"Sounded more romantic in my head."

Homoerotic Vampire Make-Out Session (ao3) - husbants

Summary: It’s October 2015 and Phil wants to indulge Dan in a little festive vampire roleplay. Dan seemed to like writing “The Urge,” after all.

I can't help falling in love with you (again) (ao3) - Findus26

Summary: "Do you ever miss that feeling of being newly in love? Like, those first date jitters? Butterflies, if you will?"

It's 2020, the world is falling apart and Dan can't help thinking back to October 2009 when everything was new and exciting. Phil finds a way to recreate the feeling

I love him (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Phil had hidden who he really was for such a long time that he was scared of people knowing the truth.

Luckily Dan comes into his life, making him feel safe and so extremely happy.

Dan makes Phil feel less scared to be himself, and he finally feels comfortable and ready to come out and show the real side of him.

No more fear, no more secrets, no more hiding.

i'm bad at cooking (but not at loving you) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: 3 times Phil tries to make Dan breakfast, + 1 time it actually works

It's home (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: A day in the life of Dan and his smitten ice-cream vendor boyfriend Phil, living on the coast of Connemara, Ireland

Kisses Through The Years (ao3) - undertalednp

Summary: Phil wanted this forever.

And so, forever is what he got.

Love Scenario (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: When Phil first saw him in the spring, he thought he looked like bubblegum.

Melodramatic, But It Turns Me On - phanlight

Summary: teenage!phan are at a sleepover and begin to have a bit of fun with the sex dices they’d found earlier that evening. 

Now We’re On the Naughty List (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Phil meets Dan after a Christmas Eve party, and invites him to stay after his taxi is stuck in the snow.

Oswald (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan is an asshole, Phil goes through a tragic accident, and this somehow brings them together.

Also Phil owns a pancake restaurant.

something to play for (ao3) - spaceandvinyls

Summary: “the world doesn’t revolve around basketball, lester.”

a basketball!au where phil is the school's star player and dan is his best friend, watching from the sidelines. everything changes when the team makes it to state championships for the first time in ten years and dan and phil realize they want something more than friendship.

the taste of your cherry chapstick - huphilpuffs

Summary: Punk!Phil has a crush, so when Pastel!Dan is manning a kissing booth for a school event, he finds himself showing up with a pound in his pocket.

The Lovers (VI) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan, guardian of the forest, feels inadequate to love and of love. His best friend Phil loves him despite that.. but doesn't know quite what to do when Dan becomes a hypocrite- playing with both their feelings

The original high (ao3) - KujiraHanma

Summary: Listening to "The Original High" the song reminds Phil of Dan and the first years of their relationship. Delving into memories induced by the song, he gets horny and when Dan comes home Phil surprises him with sex while keeping his headphones on.

Too Hot - jilliancares

Summary: Dan gets dragged to a party he doesn’t want to go to and then dragged into playing a game he doesn’t want to play. He can only hope that he won’t end up having to kiss Phil Lester, who he hates more than slow internet.

too loud in public (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: dan is too busy snogging a cute stranger named phil in a closet at a university party to realize the cops are about to break it up

Uh, No Homo Bro? (ao3) - enthuzimuzzy

Summary: Phil helps a drunk Dan up the twenty seven steps to their apartment on his birthday, forgetting what's behind the door. And that Dan really can't hold his alcohol.

Welcome home! (never leave that long again) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes home from tour and stumbles right into Phil’s arms. He is more touch starved than he’d realised.

who you are and who you've been (ao3) - kay_okay

Summary: The last day of summer seems like the perfect time to break into a public pool and make life-altering decisions in the middle of the night.

[asoulofatlantis]

So here we have it. Finally! The Skywheel Date! And Aerith is the one holding her hand out to help Cloud in XD

She wanted him to sit next to her... but he didn't. You know... he is complicated and things are complicated as well.

Here we have the infamous scene from the Trailer. As I always knew, she actually fell and that is why she was in his arms, as he catched her and of course...

...they did not kiss ^^'

The embarrassment was adorable tho XD

Its very important that they finally talked about this. The fandom has been going on and on and on about this and so it was necessary for Aerith to admit that yes, at the beginning it truly was like that, but that now, things have changed and she actually wants to be with the real Cloud and she is trying really hard to find him.

It was also important that it was mentioned that at this point, both Aerith and Cloud are aware that Cloud has been Friends with Zack but that Aerith doesn't see it as something important. That sounds mean towards Zack but remember, in this timeline, he has been gone for 5 years. Aeris has the right, to finally move on and that also means, she doesn't have to hold back, just because Zack and Cloud have been friends once. She did not knew that when she fell for Cloud anyway...

I loved how she decided that instead of talking, bodycontact would be the better way to do this. Talking was confusing him, but she not once has not been allowed to touch him so far, so... that always worked and she knew it would again.

Isn't that kind of cute? ♥

Doing this has a huge meaning in Japanese media. Just saying... (And it won't be the last time you see them doing this.)

This was so worth all the trouble.

And now its his turn to give her his hand. She saved him, he saved her... round and round it goes ♥

We talk about this date in more detail in a minute, let me just get to a point were I can save first.

OKAY. I saved and ended the game for today. So... lets say a few word about the date shall we? And I think we should do the date as a whole too, not just the Skywheel-Part.

I did not like it so much to be honest, that Aerith vanished from the Loveless viewing. I get why and I assume she didn't know she would be gone for longer than a few minutes, but I still think it was not nice to drag Cloud there and then just "vanish" until she showed up as Rosa in the play. I also don't get why Cloud didn't go searching for her. Yes, she might just have been in the bathroom, but especially with Aerith and given how he usually is so overprotective of her, it seemed weird that he just shrugged it off and put his VR-Thingy back on as if it was nothing.

Aerith did show up as Rosa tho... and I honestly think - all shipping discourse aside - that she was meant to be for the role? I mean, she is a Cetra, which makes her something along the lines of a princess or goddess or so. At least she is more "special" than Tifa and Yuffi when it comes to her heritage. ALSO she is the only one who actually wields a staff in her actual life. Also "a chance meeting always ends in tragedy" is kind of... what happened to them, didn't it? Aerith actually even mentions it in her song by singing: "Could it be chance?" after saying she won't say it was fate or destiny. And it does end in a tragedy indeed. Tifa is fine and will stay fine all the way through the end. Same goes for Yuffi. This also could bring us back to "losing what you cherish most" part, which only fits Aerith. (Granted tho, you can cherish people in multiple ways...) In that sense, depending on who your date was, this character should be your most cherished person and should tragically die, just saying... *achem* In any case I also think it fits with the clock falling possibly representing them running out of time, but also the final, were he does not ask to promise she wait for him, because he knows she will. No need for either Tifa nor Yuffi to wait for him - at best to wait for him to get better, but even then it wouldn't fit Tifa, as she is the one fixing him, so no need to wait. Which explains why Aerith is the default Rosa. It just fits her story and character best.

All in all tho, Cloud would have never played that role this accurately XD This was just a virtual reality experience and I guess that is the reason why they did it that way. Its like "A wizard did it". There is no explanation needed for, how the characters know the text or what their role is about to do or the steps in fighting scenes and all that stuff. Tho it felt weird when at the end they were all on the stage like they actually proudly played that role themselves XD But once again, let's just not question it. I guess it was just there for the entertainment of the player.

Now to the songs. Here it doesn't matter who plays Rosa. Aerith is the one singing the song ALWAYS. Tho Clouds reaction slightly differed depending on who your date was. For example, when you Date Tifa, she is holding your hand the whole time while Aeriths sings a lovesong for Cloud... which is weird and tactless. BUT sitting on that Watertower with Cloud was also a bit tactless of Aerith, so I guess we led that slide. With Barett by the way, he is swaying with Cloud, which is really funny and adorable at the same time. Clouds reaction when Aerith is his date and he solely focuses on her, is the best tho and actually the most fitting - but I guess that after giving Aerith and Cloud a canon lovesong, which Aerith herself sings, they at least had to do something to give the other dates some spotlight while the song was playing. Either way, afterward Cloud gives Aerith the moment of recognition she deserves. We could talk more about all the possible reasons for her tears and sadness at the end of the song. But we know what is coming, so lets leave it at that.

I have to say tho, if you don't think about the Lyrics too hard, you could fit that song to Aerith and Zack as well. So if it wouldn't have been for the canon interview, people who prefer Aerith with Zack, could be fine with that song as well - especially if Tifa is holding hands with Cloud while Aeriths sings.

Anyway... back to the actual date and now we are getting to the Skywheel. Lets talk about why Cloud is... so... Cloud in this scene and gives us a hard time and why we do not get any kind of kiss. While Tifa gets an actual kiss and Yuffi kisses Cloud on the cheek.

So... for starters:

Aerith and Cloud do know each other for about 2 weeks or so at this point. While Tifa and Cloud know each other since childhood. And while I have no idea what business Yuffi had, kissing Cloud on the cheek, I am pretty sure it is just something that fits her quirky character, because she isn't much of an (over)thinker, if you get me. She feels like it? She does it! XD PLUS if the Soldier she has been in love with was actually Zack (I have not seen the other two dates yet, I just know some stuff... - I will watch them eventually and react to them, but I need to be in the mood for that ^^') then Cloud is the closest she can get to Zack at the moment if you get me.

The next thing is the way Cloud acts around the girls and the way their chemistry works is absolutely freaking different from each other. Its really hard to put into words, but watch Cloud interact with the girls, especially when they are out on missions and only one of the girl is active with him and you can see and feel the difference. If I had to put it into words I'd say Cloud and Tifa are more... intimate in the way they interact or touch each other, but they also have things between them that sometimes gets in the way. Cloud also lacks the attention he gives to Aeriths feelings, when it comes to Tifa. Witj Aerith he pays much more attention to her emotions and her emotional state and he is very protective of her, while he trusts Tifa (and likely also Yuffi) that they can protect themselves (as scene with the scene with the Tornados...) but their touches and the way their interact with each other are not intimate, its more on a cuter level, a more careful level. They don't mind the body contact, but its more the handholding-innocent- kind of body contact. With Yuffi... Cloud has close to no contact, if we are honest. Body and soul and even talking. No idea what SE thought giving her a date with a freaking cheek kiss. If anything, I think she annoys Cloud ^^'

And something that plays a major role in the relationship between Cloud and Aerith is the Zack - Issue. Even more so now that Clouds remembers him and the fact that they were friends and that Zack even gushed over Aerith right in front of him - obviously before Cloud knew her tho. That ought to create a rift between Cloud and Aerith, especially after she admitted that she maybe still has feelings for Zack. How close do you want to get to a woman who still has feelings for a man that was head over heals for her? Also... should you put yourself next to her, given how he was just friend who loved her dearly and deeply? And also Aerith. She was drawn to the Zack in Cloud, she admits as much in the date - and once again, it was good and important that she did - and while I think she is the one getting the real Cloud out of his Zack-Shell the most, she still has to be aware of the fact that she probably does not fully know the true and real Cloud yet, even tho she wants to. This is a quite messy situation. Complicated too.

So... there is lots of room for being careful and distant here and not much room for intimacy and closeness.

Cloud and Aerith, as much as it saddens me, were NOT ready for a kiss yet. Getting that moment of closeness via the hand holding and cuddling was plenty for a relationship that is more of an innocent nature and has yet many obstacles to overcome - sadly, we are running out of time for this.

And that is also an important point. Something we have to point out here. When Aerith told Cloud in the first game not to fall in love with her, she contradicted her own words by the fact that she wasn't able to stop herself from touching him. The reason for this warning wasn't just the Zack issue es her following words that those feelings are not real would suggest. Its also something to guard herself and him. She knows she is going to die and that it will hurt them both that they never had the time to truly explore what could have been if they did have more time. PLUS this Aerith knew Clouds struggled after her death. And I am not just talking about the mental breakdown Tifa got him out of. I am also talking about the state he was in in Advent Children. Melancholic, depressed and full of guilt and regret and a feeling of loneliness always within his heart. You don't know that yet, but in a later scene, Aerith specifically tells Cloud not to blame himself for whatever will happen and everyone who has scene their scene from AC knows exactly why. Aerith tried to prevent Clouds from suffering, making it so that technically she has to keep her distance. I guess that is also one of the reason why she is not opposing Cloud and Tifa. And all that plays a role in that date. She wants to be with Cloud. Aeriths has feelings for him. But she runs out of time and there is so much going on beneath all of that. And than we have Cloud, not knowing where to put that "on off" behavior of her. How to deal with Zack standing between them. Not knowing what to think of her warning from the first game. And probably not knowing what he truly wants himself either, because he said it himself in that scene with Tifa earlier in the game, sometimes he doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Once again, it is complicated and I think that is also what caused him to act cold at first. However, I do think, all things considered, that we got the best scene possible for this ship and we should be happy about it.

And we are not completely done yet. You will get another "Date" with Aerith later that is non-optional. So... enjoy it for it doesn't last much longer my dears.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 22 April 1954

Two unknowns today, though both artists are chart regulars. At least one of the songs has a particulary interesting title that could be a Western theme, especially since it's by Frankie Laine... let's see!

The Kid's Last Fight - Frankie Laine (peaked at No. 3)

Not a Western theme! It sounds like it, but it's a boxing song. You don't get many of those, do you? It feels like a very old-fashioned thing, somehow - do we get boxing songs now? I certainly can't think of any.

It's a story song, and a melodramatic one, at that, all about a fighter, Kid McCoy, in a fight against the wonderfully-named Tiger Wilson. These are not real boxers, but I had to check, the names sound so perfect!

Before we get there, though, there's a pianola, apparently. Which was a self-playing automatic piano. I don't know if you can hear that specifically in the sound of it, or if a person playing it would sound the same. But if it is, it does lend the whole track a music-hall vibe. It achieves what Winifred Atwell is also aiming for, but without the off-kilter slant. Charming enough.

It also makes this a bit of a throwback track, fitting for a song about a fight in "the summer of ninty-three". It's slightly jazzy, and slightly nostalgic, and the drama does feel like the sort of thing you'd see in a silent film.

The Kid goes to his fight, with his girl, Bess, in the front row, urging him on because "we need that little bungalow, / Oh, you've just gotta win tonight". It's an oddly specific motivation, but it drives the Kid on, and Frankie gets involved with a driving chorus of "come on, Kid!"

But, then, a twist! The Kid's ill and has a fever "to the very bone". He's also against a particularly unpleasant opponent, the Tiger, who in true villainous fashion declares that "I'm gonna take the fight and take your woman too" which drives the Kid wild, helping him win the fight.

Unfortunately, in true melodramatic fashion, this is too much for the fever, and he promptly expires as we hear that "'Twas the fever that won the fight". There's talk of how "the champ is climbin' through th egolden ropes / Of the big ring up in the sky" and that's that.

It's an oddly amusing ending, or maybe that's just me. I don't know, I'm not getting pathos from this, and I'm not sure I'm meant to? It's not a novelty song, per se, but Frankie's just having a lot of fun with it all. It's playing with tragic storytelling conventions, but it's too much of a knees-up to really sell it as a genuinely sad story, and setting it in a cartooney version of the gay 90s doesn't exactly help matters.

Tenderly - Nat King Cole (10)

This is a slower, more dignified affair, a slightly jazzy, soft tune, interpreted by Nat King Cole with his usual warm gentleness. It's nice, very pleasant.

It's apparently a bit of a standard, and had really been popularised seven years before Nat's version, with a recording done by Sarah Vaughan, who I can see doing a good job of this, too. It's also become a Latin jazz favourite since then, apparently. Still, Nat manages to make it his own well enough here.

We start with a lush instrumental introduction that's all sweeping, rising strings, and then a horn cutting through it all, and some tinkling flutes. It's very cinematic, leading into the first verse starting. Nat's voice is, as ever, very smooth.

The lyrics paint a picture of a landscape that mimics Nat's interactions, as "The evening breeze caressed the trees tenderly / The trembling trees embraced the breeze tenderly" or as "The shore was kissed by sea and mist tenderly". It all provides a romantic backdrop for him and his lover also falling in love, and it's a smart move to lavish more description on the landscape than the two lovers.

We then get a beautiful piano solo, with a slow, steady drum underneath, fading into a sort of quiet, soft ending. It's the sort of ending that's understated, but very classy, and the flutes at the end are really lovely, going to unexpected places and then sweeping into a final string chord to end.

Its overall effect is also quite sleepy, and I could imagine a quiet, nocturnal version of this playing in the background of a dark, romantic scene in an artsy kind of film.

I like both of these songs, but I don't think I'll go out of my way to re-listen to them much in future. They're fine, but not stunners in the same way as some of the previous songs have been. Still, I have a definite favourite, and it's the one that has left me in a lovely dozy mood.

Favourite song of the bunch: Tenderly

[monstermaster13]

- Ken: A weregorilla with dreams of being an actor.

- Rydan: An anthro/humanoid styled werebutterfly, male..who enjoys doing feminine things.

- Margo: An anthro/humanoid style weremoth who is a goth in the same vein as Lydia Deitz.

- Steven: A version of the Alice Cooper character who is an anthro/humanoid were-spider who got his were-spider powers as a result of being obsessed with spiders when he was young, of course this lead to him eventually running into Charlotte. He's a a tragic soul at heart he feels like he's still a young were-spider despite being an adult and he wasn't exactly brought up well by his parents. Steven's father never discussed him...and his mother couldn't stand living with a wound up spider-boy, he has nightmares every single night of a place that has numerous creatures of the night including a rat-like curator who gave him all he could ever want, but he still felt like he was trapped and alone. The curator was actually the one who taught him about Charlotte and that he didn't have to be alone as a were-spider and he told him all about were-spiders and were-insects, which peaked his curiousity. After being locked up in a mental institution for being deemed as insane, he later took on the role of a serial killer thanks to a dark voice in his mind telling him that it's natural for a were-spider to trap and kill and eat. Of course he came to his senses and went to get help from Charlotte and the two of them bonded. It is also shown that he hears voices, sometimes he hears a female voice that is sometimes his mother's voice or his sister's voice, he has moments in which he feels he is sleepwalking as he has visions of himself waking up in his bedroom safe and sound only to find a trail of 'crimson spots' dripping on the floor and leading through the bedroom into the room of his sister, only to realize he killed his sister in the dream without knowing it. His sister and mother are both actually still alive, it's just nobody knows where they are. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but he has a close bond with Charlotte.

- Charlotte: A female anthro were-spider who has a close bond with Steven, she also shared her gift with him and gave him were-spider powers like hers.

- Persius: Robin's boyfriend, a crossdressing anthro werepeacock.

- Draikara: An anthro styled western weredragoness with a fascination for collecting rare items including rare merchandise.

- Kristen: An actress who since birth has been obsessed with vampires, when she got the part of the lead teenager turned vampire in the popular After Dark series of movies she couldn't have been any more excited, she became popular due to this and wanted to become one for real, luckily her father was a DNA surgeon, and he agreed to put vampire DNA in her system, only for it to go horribly wrong...turning her into an anthro style werebat instead. She doesn't mind it all that much really, apart from her newfound love of fruit and her tendency to break out into zany rap song numbers in an almost Robin Williams-like manner. That and having to wear a mask on her face due to a certain virus. Her name is Kristen Swanson, a combined nod to Kristen Stewart and Kristy Swanson, the actress who played Buffy Summers in the 1992 film 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'.

- Alicia: A female anthro styled were-cheshire-cat who is a nod to Alice in Wonderland, particularly Tim Burton's version, she is viewed as crazy because she is a bit unhinged given that she can be perky and happy one moment but paranoid and worried the next and sometimes has a bit of a madness streak to her personality, often hears voices.

- Princeton: An anthro styled werefrog who has cursed by a voodoo mistress and transforms uncontrollably, but easily can get turned back via kisses.

- Julliana: An anthro styled weredog with a Homestuck influence, a Jade Harley impersonator who cursed her creepy ex-lover into being a weredog like her.

- Aaliah: An anthro styled werelizard. Aaliah is a were-lizard who unlike the supposed reptilian aliens you see in those Youtube videos (who are just people blinking and making funny faces while being filmed with a poorly aged camera trick technique), she is a real reptilian shapeshifter and is a were-lizard who doesn't need a mask to disguise herself unlike the visitors from the sci fi show V, she change her appearance to look like anyone including her friends.

- Cameron: An anthro style werechameleon. Cameron aka 'Cam' is a Werechameleon who can never decide on what color to wear so she wears all of them, she can turn into other people and change colors...however her color changing ability depends on her mood, and sometimes she has no control over who she ends up turning into (sometimes she gets turned into a male character and sometimes she gets turned into one of her friends). Both she and Aali are comedic takes on the visitors from V.

- Rai-Lei: An anthro styled weredragoness, eastern, she's like a female Mushu.

- Lucien and Colleen: An anthro styled wererat brother and sister duo who have a father who is known for being associated with the mafia.

- Stephanie: A former rival of Nathan's who looks sweet but is actually manipulative and cruel, an anthro styled were-poodle.

- Katy: Russell's ex-lover, a black and white anthro werecat modelled on Katy Perry.

- Cruella: A were-dalmation who is essentially a version of Cruella De Vil if she was in a Goosebumps/Tales From The Crypt horror anthology story, this version of Cruella is an anthro styled were-dalmatian as the result of buying a cursed coat. Originally hates it but eventually grew to love it.

- Pam: An anthro female werepig with a reverse harem of anthro pig-guys.

- Terri: An anthro styled wereturkey who is always nervous when thanksgiving comes around.

- Robin: An anthro style werebird, possibly descended from phoenixes, boyfriend of Persius the werepeacock, it's unknown what species of bird he is meant to be like but he is named in honor of Robin Williams and dressess in outfits that resemble Mork's.

- Russell: A British anthro style wererabbit, used to date a werecat named Katy only she found out he had a serial killer alter-ego and decided to leave him for her own safety. Is named after and modelled on Russell Brand.

- Chloe: Anthro styled werekoala who chose to be one because she has loved koalas since childhood.

- Owlissa: An eccentric female anthro were-owl who loves puzzles and mazes, is modelled after Sarah from Labyrinth and also seemingly takes after the character of Jareth since she likes acting as the 'goblin queen', also has a tendency to be not what she seems to be and sometimes is seen in a red room where for some reason she and a few others talk in reverse.

- Barb: An anthro styled were-bee queen who is initially portrayed as a rich bitch or villainess but proves she has a heart of gold later on, she has a back-up group of helpers who help her with her missions.

- Leon and Liara: An anthro styled were-lion and werelioness with a humanoid design for both, they are the prom king and queen.

- Matteo: Were-beastie of unknown type, possibly half bison and half-bear, has uncontrolable powers and can be overly affectionate at times.

- Michael: A black and white anthro werecat who is Janet's brother, a version of Michael Jackson who was wrongly accused of a series of crimes he didn't commit and is out to prove his innocence.

- Brent: A slightly undeadish anthro styled weresheep who is frequently teased about being what he is, often being called a 'punk sheep' because parts of his wool are green and not white and he hates it when the word sheep is used as an insult.

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

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